With the holidays among us, you hear people talk more and more about family. And I’ve noticed that more and more people tend to talk about “The dreaded in-laws coming”, or having to go and spend time with the family. I can’t lie, I used to be one of those people. On the holidays I wanted to stay home and spend time with “my” family. (My husband and my kids) Family get togethers just seemed to be a hassle, no one got along, the kids would fight and at the end of the day you were glad to go home or for everyone to leave. But over the years, especially since my family has all moved out of state I began to realize just how important and special it is to spend not just time but quality time with your family.
I had a chat with my kids the other day because I was tired of all the fighting, I told them their siblings are the only siblings they have and they need to learn to get along. They don’t want to grow up despising each other because one day they may need one another and they want to have a good relationship with eachother. I went on about the importance of having good relationships with the family. Then a couple of days later it was Thanksgiving and it was time to go to “the in-laws”. Were we looking forward to it, maybe, but when we got there we had such a great time, everyone got along and it was fun. Now we are all looking forward to Christmas Eve at Mom and Dads and Christmas day at our house.
Looking at how family get togethers used to be and how they are now, I think everyone has grown up and come to learn the importance of family time. We talk about the stupid stuff in the past and laugh. Talk through cares and concerns, talk about the ones we loved and lost And just enjoy each others company.
Lesson here: You only have one family, love them, cherish them, and spend as much time with them as you can, let them know you love them. It’s the only family you have.
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Yesterday I posted about how Communication is Key. But do you ever find that sometimes trying to communicate with someone is hard to do. I have some friends at work, and today for some reason it seemed that maybe we aren’t the friends that we once were. We used to call ourselves the “Sex in the City” group at work, because we were kinda like that. We shared our troubles, our joys, we laughed, we cried. And today when I looked at my friends I felt such disconnect from the other two. Do I approach them and find out if there’s a problem, or do I let them approach the situation. That’s a hard question. Then I started thinking about my thoughts yesterday about communication and how it’s key to any relationship. Do I think things have changed between us, maybe,because our lives have been so busy with change in work status and responsibilities, things going on in our lives. (These are all things we used to talk about) Now we say hello and good morning, how was your weekend and every now and then we’ll think about something that was mentioned days or even weeks ago and maybe we ask how things are going with that. Way different than we used to be. How do we get back to the way things were? That’s my next challenge. I think tomorrow I’ll talk to the one who’s going to be at work and then next week speak to the other. When you have close relationships and then they fade, you can tend to feel lonely inside to have it back. Right now I feel lonely for their friendship and will take the initative to try to get it back. I’ll communicate my thoughts and hopefully we can get “Sex in the City” back.
Lesson here: I guess would be don’t let things get to the point of no return. 🙂
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My big news is that my husband has made the decision to stay home instead of taking the job offer overseas!! I am so excited 🙂 Through the weeks while we were trying to get him ready for his journey, we never had time to sit and talk about “things”. The day before he was supposed to leave, he came home and asked me what I thought about him leaving. Woah! I thought, because I had always told him I supported his decision and never expected to be asked how I truly felt. Through talking, we actually learned alot over the past few weeks. We learned to think about the things that are truly important to us, like being together spiritually, mentally, physically. We learned how important it was to communicate about big decisions that affect not just the two of us, but our family as a whole. And selfishly we learned how important it is for the both of us to have each other around. We both got some good advice from friends, for him it was questions about his decision that made him think, and for me it was the advice of making sure he knew exactly how I felt if he were to leave to prevent resentment later if he did leave. (Thank you for the advice)
If there’s one thing I can stress to those of you reading this, it’s to make sure that in any relationship you have, you make your feeling known. I really belive that communication is key in relationships. Whether it’s advice you’re giving (whether asked for or not) I bet the receiver will ponder on it when you’re gone, expressing your feelings to loved ones or friends, or speaking your mind on a topic you feel strongly about. Open communication can open channels for better relationships. Well enough rambling, hopefully this blog helps someone. See you next time.
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I thought of something else I wanted to share today. I have the BEST circle of friend anyone could ever ask for hands down!!!!! In prep of my husband leaving we had get togethers with friends and family, and made some rounds to see those who couldn’t attend either. The love and support from our friends who we consider a big part of our family was overwhelming. We couldn’t ask for more. One in particular even unexpectedly filled the church family in on what was about to happen within our family and asked them to pray for him, for me and our wonderful children. Tears filled our eyes. Then even more unexpectedly a friend who is very dear and near to our hearts and we love, asked if he could add to that and publicly told my husband that he supports him and that he feels he is being put there for a purpose. (A purpose God has in store for him!) I believe this too, but OH MY it was almost UGLY cry. But that 2 people who mean the world to us would do this meant soooooo much to us. This may not seem like much to you, but to explain the feeling of love and support is hard to do. Anyway these are only a couple of examples, but wow, the offers of help at home, with the kids, to hang out, to get away. My husband feels good knowing that we will be taken care of because we have friends who care enough to take care of us if the needs were to arise.
I wish everyone has a good circle of friends, but as I said earlier, I have the best Hand Down! And I want to say publicly to all of our friends thank you so much for the love and support. We love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth….Give the world the best you got anyway! ~Mother Teresa
I found these cool quotes and wanted to share. Hope you like this one. Always do your best, your best may not be the best to someone else, but as long as you know you’ve given your all I think that’s what matters.
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I saw a quote on the wall yesterday and it said “If you do good people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway” ~Mother Teresa
While I was waiting, reading this made me think about how true this statement really can be. How many times have you heard someone say that “sue” is only doing that because she wants ….. or that someone did something because of what they think they can get out of it. I mean, have you ever been that person accused? I know I have. Doing good things, being a good person isn’t a bad thing it’s what God wants us to do and sometimes when you’re that person being accused of selfishness or ulterior motives it’s hard to want to show people the good in you. But I like the end of the quote “DO GOOD ANYWAY!”
My thinking. Who cares what others think as long as your intentions are good, unselfish and without motive. Continue to be who you are, eventually those accusing will come around and see you for what you really are. A good person. I know, easier said than done sometimes. I’m the type of person who cares a lot about what others think about me and when I hear that people think I’m different that what I am, that bothers me. But over time I’ve learned, God made me who I am
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Yesterday I had a conversation with my sister-in-law and we were talking about how hectic life is. We discussed how even when we think there is “nothing” to do something always comes up and our days are full. Between work, helping the kids with homework, dinner, laundry, cleaning…the list goes on and on. Sometimes it would be nice to have some “me” time and do the things we really enjoy doing. Then after I got home I began to think, at the end of my days I feel so fullfiled because I have done the things I enjoy most and that’s spending time with my family. Yes the kids can get rowdy and drive me crazy (the boys don’t think it’s a complete day without harrassing each other and having a wrestling match just at the time when it’s time to do homework, and my daughter decides that it’s time to talk about all the happenings of her day just as it’s time to start settling down) What would I do without those moments? Those are the things that keep me going, wondering what the next day will bring me when I get home from work and hearing about their day. Then I realized that my “me” time is watching my children play and grow, listening to what happened in their day (children and husband), having quiet time in the morning making luches for the kids and my husband, and watching my kids and my husband as they sleep. (How beautiful they all are) My “me” time is family time whether hectic or not. I’ve realized it’s the little things to cherish: the talks, homework, watching tv together, playing games, going to church, the hugs, the kisses, the smiles, because in the end, they matter most.
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